Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A Little Sensitivity, Or Maybe a Lot

I hate it when I am reminded just how sensitive I really am. For the most part I think I'm pretty sensitive to people around me.  I notice moods, expressions, reactions, body language. I truly feel excitement for my friends accomplishments and and sorrow for their struggles. I'm grateful that I can usually see these things so plainly. It helps me not to be offended when someone says things that could be hurtful or sometimes down right rude because I think I understand why they're lashing out and can just respond to that instead of what they said. I think it helps me to be more compassionate and love people in a broad sense. But this sensitivity also means I can really get my feelings hurt too.  I know not everyone is going to like me. I know my personality is big and loud. I know I can be a bit much for some people, but knowing this never softens the blow of realizing its happened again.  My reaction is always retreat. I want to crawl into a hole and hide or at least avoid anyone who might not want to be around me, putting both of us out of our misery.  I wish it didn't matter to me, that it didn't hurt my feelings. I know it shouldn't. I could give you a long list of all my annoying little quirks. Today I'm going to try to go against my natural inclination of retreat but instead, keep a smile on my face and love the people who do want me around a little better.  I love being able to be sensitive to others, I just wish I wasn't so sensitive myself!

1 comment:

Jess said...

You do hide it well. Sorry you were feeling this way, and please tell me why some time, I can lay the smack down pretty well!