Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Its All Fun And Games...

I REALLY LOVE getting my friends together. So several years ago I started having a Christmas party with a white elephant exchange. I look forward to it every year and always wish I had room in my house to invite all of my friends to join us for what is now one of my favorite Christmas traditions.
When Kerri Lawrence showed up with a gold fish a few years back we all died laughing. That poor fish didn't even make it home with the winners, he was passed around with a poem, and doorbell ditched from cars to porches and home to home until he landed at the Van Wagenen's and sweet Kylie couldn't bear to see him go. Since then our gifts have gotten more and more creative. This year was the most hilarious so far. It's all fun and games until you have to imagine your son in law lounging in a leopard print Snuggie...

It's all fun and games until you are the new owner of a a mini sewing machine straight from the info-mercial where you learn all about hemming your pants on the go! Now you have no excuses for anything but a perfect fit!

It's all fun and games opening info-mercial specials until you can't choose between the punk tattoo sleeve gift you drew for your friend who had to leave early,
Or the Neckline Slimmer you won for yourself!
It's all fun and games when you blow up a giant picture of yourself and sign it for the white elephant exchange, but it's hilarious when it shows up again the next year and YOU don't!! We missed you Aaron and Haley!
It's all fun and games when you realize your husbands first gift of the season for you is acquired at the white elephant exchange! Happy shopping...
It's all fun and games when your gift turns out to be a "Leg Lamp" like the one in the Christmas story, until you realize it's such a hot commodity that you definitely won't be the one to take it home.
It's all fun and games until you almost go into cardiac arrest when you get a better look at your gift that you could have sworn smelled like cologne! Inside a Huggies box, inside a garbage bag, on a bed of ice,you find you are the proud owner of this little guy!!
Rod and Alison brought him so they helped us cook him up after most of the guests had gone home. But don't worry they received some pretty funny gifts themselves.
It's all fun and games till you have to explain to someone else why you have a traveling companion who isn't even alive!! Her name is Natalie. She came with a shell necklace and scrapbook of her past adventures compliments of Tara and Jason by way of doorbell ditching by Tiffany Madsen last year. For the rest of that fun story you'll have to read my sister Tara's blog. (Click here)
It's all fun and games until the mother of 9, has way too much fun opening her gift and defiantly looks me in my obsessive compulsive neat freak eyes, and then proceeds to throw the tinsel and tissue paper from her gift ALL over my living room. She was the one in for the shock though when her New Years Eve Survivial Kit came complete with a pregnancy test!

When Shelley stole the kit from Alison she followed in Alison's defiant footsteps. It's all fun and games until you spray the silly string at your hostess!! To everyone's shock I grabbed another can and retaliated, dirtying my own home in the process!!
It was all fun and games for everone watching me cover Shelley until I turned on THEM too!!!
But fun and games went out the window when perfection went up for grabs!
Twilights' Edward was stolen so many times
And everyone wanted their picture taken with himEspecially all the ladies. He was passed around and then negotiated for even after the game was over. Chris we can't thank you enough for the entertainment this one provided!!
But I couldn't possibly END this post without reminding Corey that while he did threaten that if I posted his winnings on faceboook he would delete me as a friend, he didn't mention anything about the blog...Remember it's all just fun and games!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

Bottoms up, and other short stories, By Brynne Bohn
Last week I was at the gym and Wes was home watching the kids when I got a frantic call from home.
Wes: Mom, you need to come home, Brynne just puked!
Me: What happened Wes?
Wes: Well Brynne and Emily (my niece) decided to have a drinking contest. They wanted to see who could drink the most the fastest. They each downed a can of soda and then two glasses of milk. But then Brynne puked.
Emily: But Brynners isn't sick so really its just spit up, not throw up
Brynne in the background: Yeah mom, but I winned! Wes did you tell her I winned?

Me: Brynne I just have to tell you one thing...I love you!
Brynne: Oh yeah, well I just have to tell you one thing...Mom church is boring.

Brynne: Mom I have a new piggy bank for all my pennies. No one will ever find them!
Me: Oh yeah, where is it?
Brynne: In that front opening part of my new CD player but not the part where my CDs go. I put ALL of them in there!

I spent the next 30 minutes shaking pennies out of the cassette deck of her little stereo. If you shake it now you can still hear the clinking of one or two stubborn pennies, but she can still listen to her music!

Brynne: Mom is it still Sunday and we can only watch church videos?
Me: Yes Brynne.
As I walk out of the room the conversation continued...

Brynne: Uh, mo-om, I don't like the church videos...
Drew: Oh Brynne that is so mean!
Brynne: Thats not mean...? To who?
Drew: Well Brynne what I really mean is that there are some things we say out loud and others we should just think in our heads.
Brynne: Oh...well I didn't really mean it, I just really want to watch Dinosaur Train

While playing with the little Fisher Price people sunday evening and acting out the nativity scene...
Brynne: And then Jesus was born in Worshiphim
Jen Hurd: You mean Bethlehem?
Brynne: No I mean in Worshiphim. The Shepherds came to Worshiphim, so that's where He was born!

Sitting in Church a few weeks ago during a phase where Brynne thinks of the silliest things to call you, like spaghetti or pickles, Brynne is sitting between me and a friend of mine and begins to loudly whisper...

Brynne: Mom you're a dam. Giggle, giggle!
Me: What?!!!!
Brynne: A dam mom, you're a dam!
Me: Um what is a dam Brynne? Like something at rivers and lakes...?
Brynne: Mom, don't you know, its made with sticks and stuff like that and sometimes there can be holes in them, and beavers make them. You know...a dam!?
Me, completely relieved and surprised: Oh yes of course, a dam
Brynne: Yep you're a dam mom!!

My friend couldn't help but grab me in the hall later and whisper into my ear: There's that dam mom!

Brynne: Mom people always tell me my socks are backwards. I already know that!
Me: Well, why do you insist on wearing them that way then?
Brynne: Because mom, that line on the top totally "boders" me

Brynne: Oh no mom we have a HUGE problem! My glass slippers are getting too small for me! Hurry run to Target and see if they have any there, remember I need size 7, hurry mom I have to have glass slippers!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Family Pictures

My good friend Shelly has recently taken up photography. She has a great eye, natural talent, and is incredibly generous. She agreed to take pictures of our family a few weeks ago. In spite of our major time constraints and a last minute change in location, she got some great shots.

Our biggest problem of the day was the tiniest member of our family. She was the BIGGEST stinker! Even bribery got us almost nowhere! These shots were funny to look back at. She had her hand on her hips and was saying "I am the boss of this whole family!"

"I love you"

"And you"

"And you! Ha"

When time ran out, Jeff took the rest of the kids to an activity at the church and Shelley took Wes and I back to where we had left my car. On a whim she ended up taking some great shots of both of us. We were having fun again!

She did such a great job, and was such a good sport. Thanks friend!