Thursday, February 6, 2014

My Brains Are Absent, Really!

Today I Brynne and I made the drive to Oakland to meet with a team of doctors that regularly treat Mito patients.  It's awesome.  We go into one room and then a series of specialists come in to see us. They note any changes or progression of symptoms and answer questions. They offer advise and any possible assistance.  I love having a great team of doctors ready to assist at any time as we move along this unknown journey of having a child with mito.
I took this picture because I remembered taking one just like it almost two years ago when we last met with the team.  I actually spent a lot of my drive thinking about the last two years between these doctor visits and considering all of the changes that have taken place in such a short time.  I never would have guessed at some of the twists and turns that have come about. 
But it also reminded me of  the adventure Brynne and I had on the way home from this visit last time.  Brynnes pants that disappeared into the wind unbeknownst to me while I was talking Brynne through relieving herself on the side of an empty highway in case of an emergency.  The panic I felt upon realizing the pants and underwear were gone contrasted greatly to Brynne's carefree little self doing a headstand on the back seat of the car, crossing and uncrossing her legs singing about having no pants while wearing only a t shirt.  Ahh yes, what sweet relief it was to find the pants 200 yards ahead of us after I had completely given up hope of finding them.  Today's trip was blessedly uneventful.
Upon returning home I found mail addressed to Jeni Hurd.  You can always tell that I go way back with someone if they call me Jeni.  Jeni is the girl who grew up in Woodland.  Jeni is what my grandparents, a few aunts and uncles and a couple of cousins still call me.  Jeni is who I am to anyone who knew me from the time I was born until my senior year in high school.  I moved just a few weeks before my senior year.  The friends I made in Clovis already had a Jenni and a Jennifer, so I became Jen and never looked back.  For someone to call me Jeni who didn't know me then, it almost comes across as just cute or a term of endearment not my that weird?  Anyway that piece of mail sent me quickly down a different path of Memory Lane.
And what was inside, brought me down yet another.  My high school 20 year reunion is this August.  How in the heck did that happen.  That's a lot of years.  Where did they go? How did that happen so fast?  What I have done in the last 20 years?  Am I where i thought I would be?  Am I who I thought I would be?  It made me feel a little old, but not in a bad way.  It's one of the first times I can remember where I actually felt like a grown up and not Jeni still in high school.  So often I feel like I am still young, just a kid, making it all up as I go, faking it til I make it, you know?  But today I just felt like a grown up. Owning the last 20 years that have taken me down paths I never could have possibly imagined for myself.  
Instead of dwelling on any of it for too long I just got to work on a few projects that I have been really needing to get to. No matter that it was raining, I had been gone and stuck in the car for so many hours I just needed a little productivity.  I cleaned and scrubbed off the upstairs patio, swept and hosed off the front porch and walkways, and then I filled 5 wheelbarrows of dirt from the side yard, spread it all along the back fence and then covered the side yard with wood chips. I'm several bags short, so Home Depot will be seeing more of me in the next couple of days. I ended up tossing a few sand bags across the fence so Shelby won't dig underneath the fence and get out.  I cleaned up her dog house and dragged it over to the side yard/ dog run as well. The crazy thing is that I did all of this in the dark only really seeing what it looked like when I took the picture. Why? I know what a weirdo I am that I absolutely had to get this project done tonight while it was raining and I could barely see.  I don't think I even know anyone else who would feel compelled to start a project like that in those conditions. It's not normal.  So I'm just 'fessing up, admitting it now to anyone bothering to read, I am crazy. 
Further proof of how weird I am is this.  The husband is out of town and I don't even bother to take all the pillows off the bed before climbing in.  Oh no, I stack them all lengthwise on his side of the bed so it will be easier to make the bed tomorrow morning.  
So basically the point of this whole post is just to give everyone fair warning, this may not be the time to ask me or tell me anything important.  My brains are absent.  Either they are strolling down one the many paths of memory lane, or they've just gone completely nuts.  Either way I'm kinda useless.  Let's talk next week!

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