Thursday, November 19, 2009

Name Calling and Finger Pointing

I've answered to a lot of names in my life. Some have real meaning behind them, others are just because they rhyme and some have hilarious stories attached to them. Hurdling, Muffins, Jenalyn, Caca head, Jeni, Yena, Rat, Sunshine, Miss Lynn, Jeni Henny Pumpkin Pie, Bunny Bear, President Pouter, Hurd nerd, Helga, Burley , Brunhilda, Schmoopie, Marshmellow Lips, Litttle Jeni, Da Punkin, are just a few.

While driving with my sister Tara a while back, she insisted I had a few alter egos when I get behind the wheel, and set about naming them. Mimi is the first one, let me introduce you. She's sassy, always in a bit of a hurry, a little bit bossy, with sunglasses and lip gloss. Mimi weaves in and out of traffic pushes her way into a parking spot or a long line of cars, perhaps winking and smiling as she goes. Mimi's music blares while she sings along and she thinks she is in complete control.

Francesca, well she's all european. Brassy and oblivious to the crazy driving conditions around her. She drives fast too, but Francesca has lots of near misses and a few where she wasn't quite so lucky. "Oops did I do that?" There are also times where a regular law abiding citizen like myself would never make an illegal U turn, but our euorpean friend has no problem with it! Francesca is all about having things her way.

I think I am a good driver, but as we ride together now Tara will say things like "Oh that was a typical Mimi move" or "Helloooo! Francesca you almost killed us! Didn't you see that car almost hit us?" Whatever.

I only tell you this because Francesca was in a little fender bender a few weeks ago, and I am still out of a car. I could be totally embarrassed by the whole situation but since it's Francesca who crashed, I may as well spill the beans. It was a busy day for me and as usual I was running a few minutes behind. I had I had just come from the store where I loaded 13 large pumpkins into the back of my car for a daddy daughter activity at my house that night. I needed to buy a few more groceries, and supplies for some games. I had also committed to bringing dinner to the missionaries that night. My husband was out of town and both boys had soccer practice that evening. Time was running out and it was time to pick the kids up from school.

Franchesca was ready to go! While rounding a corner the phone rang through the speakers in the car. Sure that it was Garrett calling to see if I was ever going to pick him up from school, and just getting ready to turn left again, Francesca looked down toward the cup holder where the phone was sitting to check the caller ID. She looked up just in time to slam on the brakes and crash right into a parked trailer belonging to one of the gardeners who was mowing the neighbors lawn. There was a metal frame that came out into a point beyond the body of the trailer. This is what tore into the bumper and tire, and fender of my car. The tire was ripped in half and the weight of the car was resting on the rim. A decorative piece that normally goes right over the wheel on my fender was wedged into the small space between the metal frame of the trailer and the trailer body. The passenger door would not open. The tie rods under the passenger side were completely broken so the car was unable to turn. Once I replaced the tire with my spare, I still had to have the car towed less than a quarter of a mile to wait for my insurance adjuster to come out and take a look at it. $4300 in total damages to my vehicle, $100 to the trailer. That stinkin' Francesca!

That was almost 3 weeks ago. My mom was out of town for a bit so I have been borrowing her car, but she is home now, so we are kind of sharing it. Then yesterday, Kristin who is my right hand around here and on the payroll, regularly helps me out with pick ups and drop offs when I am supposed to be in two places at the same time, went out to take her car to drop Brynne off at music class. The car died 3 times while trying to get out of the driveway. I went out to help her push it back out into the driveway while wearing dress flats on my feet. It was the strangest feeling to go from pushing a car one minute to almost instantly being on my knees behind the car in the midddle of the street. My feet slipped right out from behind me because of my slick shoes. If only Francesca hadn't crashed, I wouldn't be looking like a 3 year old with a scraped knee!

My mom is my second string helper, only because she is not on the payroll! Currently, all three of us will be trying to use the same car to get things done. Impossible with a capital I. I called yesterday to check on the progress of my car. They are waiting on parts to fix the suspension, and then it still has to go to paint. That will take at least three days. I need my car back by next Tuesday to drive my family to Idaho for Thanksgiving, and it may not be ready. If we don't make it to Idaho, Francesca can answer to my mother in law!

Call me whatever you want, Mimi, Francesca, Grumpy or even Impatient. This girl wants her car back and I mean now!!

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